Agatha Raisin & the Vicious Vet ar-2 Read online

  'I've got to go' she said suddenly. 'I forgot to leave the cats any water'

  'Agatha, Agatha, they'll be all right. Come here'

  'And I'm expecting an important phone call from New York and ... I mean, thanks for the dinner. My treat next time. Honestly, got to rush.'

  Agatha fled down the garden path, stumbling on her high heels.

  She unlocked her car and dived into the driving seat and then drove off, not feeling the panic ebb until she was safely back out of the town and on her road home. Along the Fosse, a police car loomed up in her rear-view mirror. She thought of all she had drunk and prayed they would not stop her and breathalyse her. She dropped her speed to thirty and the police car moved out and passed her.

  She felt bewildered by her reactions to the handsome vet. She had not had an affair with anyone in quite a long time. What a fool she had been. Not once did she allow the thought to form in her head that the idea of love-making without love had become repugnant to her. That was too old-fashioned an idea to admit to, and Agatha Raisin was determinedly modern.

  The next day Paul Bladen went back to Lord Pendlebury's racing stables. He was to perform Hobday's operation on a racehorse to stop its roaring. This involved cutting the vocal cords. He filled a syringe with a drug called Immobilon to anaesthetize the animal. Beside him on a small rickety table which he had carried into the stable for the purpose, he placed a glass bottle of Revivon to inject the horse when the operation was over, and also a glass bottle of Narcon, a powerful antidote in case he got any of the Immobilon into his bloodstream by mistake.

  "There now, boy, easy' he said, patting the horse on the nose as it shuffled and whinnied. He felt irritated that Lord Pendlebury had not even bothered to supply him with a stable-boy to help. The sun was shining in through the open stable door, casting a huge gold rectangle on the cobbles at his feet. He raised the syringe to inject the horse in the jugular vein. The gold at his feet darkened as if a cloud had passed over the face of the sun. Then something struck him savagely on the back of the head and he fell sprawling. Winded but not unconscious, he twisted round on the cobbles. 'What the hell are you . . .?' he began.

  A hand twisted the syringe out of his grasp and the next thing he knew, the syringe had been plunged into his chest. He scrabbled desperately at the table where the antidote lay. Even Revivon, the drug to revive the horse, would work if he couldn't reach the Narcon, but the table was kicked over and he died a few seconds later.

  Agatha heard about his death the following day from Bill Wong, and her first feeling was one of selfish relief that the vet was no longer around to gossip about the way she had fled from his house.

  Agatha had replaced the electric cooker in her kitchen with an Aga stove. The door of the stove was open and a wood fire was burning briskly. A jug of early daffodils from the Channel Islands stood on the window-ledge. The square plastic table was gone and now there was a solid wooden one with a scrubbed top.

  'It was a tragic accident' said Bill. 'Some vets won't work with Immobilon. It's deadly. There was a case not long ago where the vet put the syringe full of the stuff in his breast pocket and approached the horse. The horse nudged him on the chest, the syringe pricked the vet and that was enough. He died almost instantly'

  'You'd think they'd have some sort of antidote' said Agatha.

  'Oh, they do, but there's not often time to reach it. In Paul Bladen's case, it was on a little table, but either he kicked it over in his death agonies, or the horse kicked it over.'

  'You mean it's like cyanide? You writhe about?'

  'Come to think of it, you don't' said Bill. 'Good way to commit suicide . . . quick and painless. There was one curious thing.'

  'Yes?' Agatha's eyes brightened.

  'No, not that curious. Not murder. There was a lump on the back of his head, but of course it was assumed he got that striking his head when he fell, although he was found lying on his side. His fingerprints were on the edge of the table, as if he'd made an attempt to get to the antidote.'

  'And he was all alone?'

  'Yes. The reason for that, reading between the lines of old Lord Pendlebury's statement, is that he high-handedly demanded help. Lord Pendle-bury said his stable staff were all too busy and then made sure they were. It was an operation to stop the horse roaring. A lot of racehorses make a roaring sound on the course'

  'Seems brutal.'

  'Everything to do with animals is brutal.'

  James Lacey hovered outside Agatha's door. She had baked him a pie two months ago and he knew he should have returned the pie dish. He had been putting it off. But the fact that Agatha had apparently ceased to pursue him had given him courage. He rang the bell, thinking that with any luck she might be out around the village, and then he could safely leave the pie dish on the doorstep.

  But Agatha answered the door. "Come in and have coffee' she said, taking the pie dish. 'We're in the kitchen'

  That 'we' encouraged James Lacey to step inside. He was writing a military history, and like most writers spent his days looking for excuses not to work.

  He knew Bill Wong and nodded a greeting. James settled down over a cup of coffee, relieved that Agatha was not staring at him in the intense way she usually did.

  'We've just been talking about Paul Bladen's death,' said Agatha. She described what had happened.

  The retired colonel despised what he called 'women's gossip' and would have been amazed had anyone pointed out to him that he was just like the rest of the human race, a gossip himself.

  I'm not surprised,' he said cheerfully, 'that a man so generally loathed should be bumped off.' 'But he wasn't bumped off' protested Agatha.

  The people who claim not to be gossips are usually the worst kind, and James Lacey weighed in. 'How can you be sure?7 he demanded. Tor a start, did you hear about poor Mrs Josephs? You know she was devoted to that old cat of hers, Tewks. Well, she kept going to Bladen with one excuse or another. One day he asked her to leave the cat with him for a full examination. When she went back to collect her beloved pet, he had put it to death. He said the cat was too old and needed to be put out of its misery. Mrs Josephs was distraught.

  "Then there was Miss Simms. She kept going along on one pretext or another. The last time she went, she said, and I believe her, it was because the cat had a genuine complaint. It was scratching and scratching. Bladen told her coldly the cat had fleas, and not to waste his time and be more thorough with her housekeeping. She took her cat back to her former vet, who told her the animal had an allergy. Miss Simms returned to Bladen and ripped him up and down. You could hear it all over the village. But then Bladen had told Jack Page, the farmer, that he was sick of those women and their dreary pets. He only had time for working animals'

  'This must have all happened when I was in London' said Agatha. 1 mean, they all went to him when he first came'

  'They were all in love with him' said James. "Then for some reason he started to get nasty to a few of them. There are still some who think he's the best vet ever ... or was' 'Who are they?' asked Bill. 'Mrs Huntingdon, the pretty newcomer with the Jack Russell; Mrs Mason, the chairwoman of the Carsely Ladies' Society; Mrs Harriet Parr from the lower village; and Miss Josephine Webster, who runs that shop which seems to sell nothing other than dried flowers.'

  'How did you learn all this?' exclaimed Agatha, and then turned pink, for she realized in that moment that he was every bit as much pursued by the village women as Paul Bladen had been.

  'Oh, people talk to me,' he said vaguely. 'You had a dinner date with Bladen,' said Bill Wong, looking at Agatha. "The night before his death, in fact, for I asked you out for dinner and you told me you couldn't go because you had a date with him.'

  'So what?' demanded Agatha. James Lacey looked at her curiously. She was quite attractive, he supposed, in a pugnacious sort of way. In fact, now that she was not oiling all over him, he could see that she did have certain good points. She had a trim, if rather stocky figure, excellent legs, rather
small, intelligent brown eyes, and shiny healthy brown hair, worn straight but cut by some no doubt expensive hairdressing master.

  'So Fm interested' Bill was saying. 'Where did you go for dinner?'

  'That new Greek place in Mircester'

  'Horrible dump' said James. Took someone there for dinner myself. Never again'

  Agatha wondered immediately whom he had taken for dinner, but she said, 'I didn't find out all that much about him. Oh, he said his dream was to open a veterinary hospital'

  'Aha' said Bill maliciously. Tried to get money out of you, did he?'

  'No, he did not!' yelled Agatha, and added in a quieter voice. 'It may come as a surprise to you, but he fancied me'

  I'm glad about that. I mean, you'd suffered enough already with that chap in London trying to cheat you' said Bill.

  'More coffee?' said Agatha, glaring at him.

  'Yes, please' said James Lacey.

  'Not for me' said Bill. 'Back to work' And he left the kitchen too quickly for James to change his mind and escape.

  Determined to be as remote and cool as possible, Agatha served James with another cup of coffee and then sat at the far end of the table from him. More for something to say than because she was interested, she said, 'So you think someone might have murdered Paul Bladen?'

  'It did cross my mind' he said. 'I mean, it would be so easy to do. Creep up on him when he had a syringe full, knock him on the head . . . No that won't do. He hadn't been knocked on the head'

  'But he might have been' said Agatha. 'I mean, he had a lump on his head. They decided he might have got it falling on the floor, but he was lying on his side.'

  'I suppose the police know what they are doing' said James. 'I mean, if anyone else had been around Lord Pendlebury's racing stables, he or she would have been seen. This is the country. You can't sneak around places quietly like you can in the city'

  'I wonder' said Agatha. 'I would like to see those racing stables. Do you know Lord Pendlebury?'

  'No. But all you have to do is go up there and ask him to contribute to one of those charities you're always raising money for. Then, when you leave the house, all you have to do is go to the stables and take a look around'

  'I wish you would come with me,' said Agatha. He looked at her nervously, but she had not said it in any flirtatious way.

  He thought of the work he had to do, he thought of the joys of writing and found himself saying, 'I don't see why not. We could go up this afternoon, say, about two'

  'That is very kind of you' said Agatha calmly. She saw him to the door, ushered him out, and then performed a war dance in her little hall. The impossible was about to happen. She was going to spend an afternoon with James Lacey.

  By two o'clock, Agatha, weary of trying on clothes, had settled for a cherry-red sweater, a neat tweed skirt, brogues, and a sheepskin coat.

  She stood by the window of the dining-room, which faced the front of the house, so that she could watch him arriving. And there he came with his long rangy stride. Although in his fifties, he was a handsome man, over six feet tall, with crisp dark hair with only a trace of grey, humorous eyes and a powerful nose. He was wearing a moth-eaten old shooting sweater with worn suede patches on the shoulders over a checked shirt and olive-green cords. Agatha had a good stare at him to compensate for the fact that she intended to remain cool and detached when she actually met him again.

  Lord Pendlebury's home, Eastwold Park, lay at the end of a long drive which led off the road from the village. Agatha felt quite elated. The only time she had been inside the doors of a grand house before was as a tourist. She wondered if she should curtsy - no, that was for royalty - and should she call him 'my lord'? Best to watch how James Lacey went on and copy him.

  They drove up and parked outside the front of one of those rambling Cotswold mansions which cover quite a bit of ground without appearing to do so. The door was answered not by a butler, but by one of the village women, Mrs Arthur, wearing an overall and brushing wisps of grey hair from her eyes. Mrs Arthur was a member of the Carsely Ladies' Society, but Agatha had not known she worked for Lord Pendlebury.

  'I wanted to ask Lord Pendlebury if he would contribute to our fund-raising for Save the Children' said Agatha.

  'You can ask' said Mrs Arthur. 'No harm in asking, I always say' She stayed put.

  'Why don't you ask Lord Pendlebury then if we may see him?' demanded James Lacey.

  'On your own heads be it,' said Mrs Arthur. 'He's in the study, over there' She jerked a thumb towards a door at the end of the hall.

  It was all very disappointing, thought Agatha, as she followed James Lacey across the hall. There should have been a butler to take a visiting card on a silver tray. But James was already holding open the study door for her.

  Lord Pendlebury was seated in a battered leather armchair before a dying wood fire. He was fast asleep.

  'Well, that's that,' whispered Agatha. James crossed to the window. 'The stable block is out the back' he said, not bothering to lower his voice. 'You can see it from here'

  'Shhh' urged Agatha. The room was so silent, book-lined, dim, with two walls of calf-bound books, a large desk, bowls of spring flowers on odd little tables, and the solemn tick of clocks intensifying the silence.

  'Who are you?' Lord Pendlebury was awake now and staring straight at her.

  Agatha jumped and said, 'I am Agatha Raisin from Carsely. The gentleman there is Mr Lacey' She longed to call him Colonel but was sure James would object. 'I am collecting money on behalf of the Carsely Ladies' Society for Save the Children'

  Like an American swearing the oath of allegiance, Lord Pendlebury put an arm across his chest, no doubt to protect his wallet.

  'I have already given money to Cancer Research' he said.

  'But this is Save the Children'

  'I don't like children' said Lord Pendlebury petulantly. 'Too many of them. Go away'

  Agatha opened her mouth to blast him, but James Lacey said quickly, Tine-looking stables you have, sir. Mind if we walk over and take a look?'

  'Doesn't matter if I mind, does it?' said Lord Pendlebury. 'A landowner no longer has any privacy. If it's not busybodies like you, it's those damn environmentalists, walking over my land with their rucksacks, eating health-food nut bars and farting. Do you know what causes the damage to the ozone layer? It's health fanatics, eating ghastly bran and nut bars and farting about the landscape. Sending out poisonous gases and wind. Ought to be put down'

  'Quite' said James indifferently while Agatha glared at Lord Pendlebury.

  'You don't seem a bad sort of chap' said Lord Pendlebury, peering at James in the gloom of the study. 'But that woman looks like one of those hunt saboteurs, slavering on about the darling foxes'

  'Listen, you' said Agatha, advancing on him.

  James took her firmly by the arm and guided her towards the door. 'Thank you for your kind invitation, Lord Pendlebury' he said over his shoulder. 'We shall enjoy seeing your stables'

  'Rude old bugger' raged Agatha when they were out in the hall.

  James shrugged. 'He's old. Leave him be. We get to see the racing stables and that's why we came'

  But Agatha was still smarting. She felt she had been grossly insulted. Worse than that, she thought Lord Pendlebury had been able to see right through her expensive sheepskin and sweater, right down into her working-class soul.

  'I'm going to have a firm talk with Mrs Arthur' said Agatha as they walked together towards the stable block. 'She could probably earn more working in a factory or a supermarket'

  'She and her husband work for Lord Pendle-bury' pointed out James Lacey. 'They get a rent-free cottage on the estate and all the free vegetables they want from the market garden. Anyway, you want to persuade Mrs Arthur to leave to get your revenge on the old man because he thought you were a flatulent fox preserver'

  This was the truth, and so Agatha decided James was really quite an uninteresting and charmless man after all.

  The othe
r thing that was irritating was that although James Lacey had spent less time in and around the village compared to herself, he seemed to know a remarkable number of people. He hailed Lord Pendlebury's trainer, Sam Stodder, and introduced him to Agatha.

  'Lord Pendlebury said we could take a look around the stables, Mr Stodder' said James. 'Sad thing about that vet's death, wasn't it?'

  'Sad, for sure. Happened right over there. He were doing that operation to stop Sparky roaring'

  'And no one else was about at the time?'

  'No. Lord Pendlebury had a new filly out in the paddock and took us all off to have a look. We was all talking and smoking and admiring the filly, 'cos it's not often the old man lets us slack. Devil for work, he is. Then Bob Arthur, him what does for my lord, he strolls off and says he's going for to see how the vet is getting on and the next thing he comes out, yelling and crying that Bladen is dead. "Looks like someone's done fer him," he says, so his lordship says for to call the police'

  'And it was in here?' asked Agatha, approaching the right wing of the stable block.

  Both men followed her in. There was nothing to be seen. The row of loose boxes stretched off into the gloom, the horses' heads poking out. 'Oldest bit of the stables' said Sam. 'In the rest of it, the loose boxes open right out on to the courtyard, not inside like here.'

  Agatha stared at the floor, but there was nothing to be seen, not even a sliver of glass.

  'Why did Mr Arthur say that it looked like someone had done for him?' she asked.

  'Reckon he waren't none too popular, like. Wizard with horses, mind. Lord Pendlebury thought him a cheeky sort and wanted Mr Rice, Bladen's partner from Mircester, but Mr Rice don't like Lord Pendlebury and that's a fact, and so he do make excuses not to come.'

  'I don't suppose anyone likes Lord Pendlebury, horrible old man that he is,' said Agatha.