Agatha Raisin and the Busy Body ar-21 Read online

Page 6

"Yes, Amy. She's leaving all the business side of things to me. Mother left everything equally to the two of us."

  "Her death must have come as a terrible shock to you both."

  "Well, ma'am, it did and then it didn't. Mother had a bad knack of rubbing people up the wrong way."

  "But surely she cannot have been the type of lady to drive anyone to murder!"

  "To tell you the truth, I've been racking my brains and cannot really think of anyone," said Tom ruefully.

  Agatha wondered why Roy, usually a chatterbox, was so silent. She looked across at him and saw he had fallen asleep, the spring sunlight bathing his thin face. For the first time, Agatha wondered why he had come on a visit without phoning first. He had done only that before when he was in some sort of trouble.

  "Roy!" she said sharply.

  "Eh, what?"

  "I'm going to drive into Mircester to try to have a word with Bill. Want to come?"

  Roy straightened up and rubbed his eyes. "Right you are."

  "Perhaps we could all meet at my hotel for dinner tonight. Eight o'clock?" said Tom.

  "I can't," said Toni. "I promised Sharon I'd go to a disco with her."

  "And I, alas, have parish duties," said Mrs. Bloxby.

  "We'd love to," said Agatha, wondering if she could persuade Roy to stay in for the evening. Tom was a bit fussy, that was all.

  On the road to Mircester, Agatha said to Roy, "Out with it."

  "Out with what?"

  "I feel something's bothering you."

  "Oh, that," said Roy bleakly. "I suppose it's no big deal. It's just that I've lost all interest in the job."

  "Who are you handling at the moment?"

  "Paper Panties."

  "I thought those things went out with the sixties."

  "They want them back and I've got to get the media interested."

  "So? You just do your job as usual. You know what it's like, Roy. Remember all the lousy accounts I had to cope with."

  "I don't get on well with foreigners."

  "What kind of foreigners?"

  "Bulgarian. The girls are pretty, the ones they get to model the panties. But the people who run the company treat me like dirt. In fact, they're pretty threatening. In fact, they give me the impression that if they don't get maximum coverage, I'll end up off Westminster Bridge."

  "I'm surprised at your boss taking them on."

  "They sent an English rep to the office to set it up. Very correct, upper-class twit type. I want out of it."

  Agatha furrowed her brow in thought. Then she said, "Oh, I've got it. Sometime today we'll stop off and get some cheap stationery, put on gloves and send a nice anonymous letter to the vice squad saying it's a front for prostitution and the models are sex slaves."

  "Aggie!"

  "Well, think about it. The police will feel compelled to investigate. You tell your boss that the reputation of his firm is in danger and you'll be off the hook."

  "But forensics!" wailed Roy. "What if we even breathe on the paper!"

  "You've been watching too much CSI on television. Have I ever let you down?"

  "Well . . ."

  "Leave it to me."

  They were in luck. Bill Wong's formidable parents were out shopping. Bill's mother was a Gloucestershire woman and his father was originally from Hong Kong. Agatha thought they were both horrible, but Bill adored his parents.

  "You've been avoiding me," accused Agatha when Bill opened the door to them.

  "It's Collins. Wilkes wants me to have nothing to do with you and she watches me all the time."

  "Well, she isn't around now," said Agatha cheerfully. "Let us in. We need to talk."

  Bill led them into the lounge. There was a new three-piece suite covered in plastic. "You'd better get that plastic off before the warm weather comes," commented Agatha, "or it'll stick like hell."

  "Oh, it'll keep it clean for a bit," said Bill. "What's going on?"

  "Miriam Courtney's son has arrived. He wants me to find out who killed his mother."

  "Why now?" asked Bill in his soft Gloucestershire accent. He had a pleasant round face with almond-shaped eyes. "I mean, he didn't even bother to turn up for the funeral. Neither did his sister."

  "It seems as if Miriam had as little to do with them as possible and they didn't like her one little bit. He's over to supervise the selling of the property. That's why he's suddenly turned up."

  "But you would think he would call on the police first before hiring a private detective."

  "I am very good at my job," said Agatha.

  "But people normally only hire a private detective in such circumstances as a last resort. They question the police first."

  "Have you got anything?" asked Agatha.

  "No, and we've tried and tried. It's a very close-knit village. Take the case of John Sunday. He was so unpopular all round that any number of people could have wanted him dead."

  "Tilly Glossop in particular," said Agatha, and told him Toni's news.

  "We've interrogated her several times," said Bill. "Saying to someone, 'You'll be sorry,' is hardly a reason to arrest them."

  "And Tom Courtney was definitely in the Cayman Islands?"

  "Yes."

  "And the sister?"

  "In Philadelphia. She's married to a Dr. Bairns."

  "And the doctor vouches for her?"

  "He was away at a medical conference in Seattle. But she was staying with a friend, Harriet Temple. Believe me, they were checked out. And Miriam did tell Charles that she was onto something. And before she went to bed on the night she was killed, she phoned the vicar's wife and said she knew who had done it."

  "I didn't know that," said Agatha excitedly. "That could mean either Penelope or her husband did it."

  "Of course we thought of that. But Mrs. Timson's cleaner was ill and she phoned her to see how she was getting on and told her what Miriam had said. The cleaner, a Mrs. Radley, promptly got on the phone to a lot of people in the village. We questioned them all. But the ones she called had in their turn called others. Everyone must have known."

  "It's a puzzle." Agatha sighed. "The two murders seem so different. The killing of John Sunday almost seems like a spur-of-the-moment thing, whereas the murder of Miriam looks like cold-blooded planning."

  "That's a leap in the dark," said Bill, "and it doesn't add up. She tells Charles she's onto something and the next thing, she's dead. Sherry?"

  "Please," said Roy, who had been wondering whether to tell Bill about Agatha's mad idea of how to get him away from the Bulgarians.

  Bill went through to the kitchen and reappeared with a little silver tray holding three minuscule glasses of sherry. Roy's face fell. He knew Agatha would not want him to tell Bill about her plans for the Bulgarians but felt that a stiff drink might have given him the necessary courage.

  "I think Tom Courtney looks suspicious," said Roy. "I mean, the motive is usually money, isn't it?"

  "The first thing we thought of, but, like I said, his alibi checks out. And the sister is vouched for by her friend."

  "It's a pity," mused Agatha, "that it couldn't be either the son or daughter. I mean, how convenient to already have a murder in the village. The police were bound to think both murders were connected."

  "We still do," said Bill. "You're right, though; the murder of Miriam appears to have been carefully planned. Someone passing the manor saw the lights go out and then the flickering light of a candle, as if Miriam was going down the stairs to look at the fuse box. The fire was started because when she was struck down, the candle she might have been holding ended up in a pan of fat."

  "Can they tell all that? The house was a blazing inferno. I didn't think there would be any evidence left."

  "They traced the source of the fire to the stove, analysed the remains of the pan and found evidence of candle grease. The fuse box was nearly intact, being protected by a heavy metal cover. The electricity had definitely been switched off."

  "Who was it who was just pas
sing so late at night?"

  "Carrie Brother."

  "And what's her reason for being out so late?"

  "She said her little doggie needed to go pee-pee, to quote her words."

  "I think she's barmy," said Agatha.

  Bill shook his head. "A bit eccentric, that's all. Is it any use, Agatha, telling you yet again to keep out of it?"

  "Not in the slightest. I'm employed by Tom Courtney and I need the money."

  "Do you know anything about Bulgarians in London?" asked Roy.

  "No, he doesn't," said Agatha. "We've got to rush. Come along, Roy."

  Roy quailed before the gimlet gleam in Agatha's bearlike eyes. "What Bulgarians?" asked Bill as Agatha hustled Roy out of the house.

  "Never mind," Agatha called back.

  Back in Carsely, Roy wandered around the cottage moodily while Agatha composed an anonymous letter to the police. Finally she popped the letter in an envelope. "I'd better not mail this here," she muttered. "If they see a Carsely postmark, they'll track me down. Roy!" she called.

  "What is it?" he asked nervously.

  "I want you to mail this in London. I'll put it in a bigger envelope so you don't get your fingerprints on it. Just take it out and pop it in a pillar box." She stripped off her gloves and then noticed the look of relief in Roy's eyes. "And don't think you can tear it up and chuck it away when you get to London. If I don't see anything in the news about a raid, I'll know you've weaselled out. It's for your own good! Now, I would like to have dinner with Tom on my own this evening. I think he rather fancies me and I may get more out of him. He might remember something about his mother that he hasn't told me."

  "He doesn't fancy you a bit," said Roy crossly. "I'm your friend. You should be looking after me."

  "Roy, it's work. We're in the middle of a recession and I need this job."

  "Oh, all right," said Roy. "I'll maybe go to the pub."

  That evening, after Agatha had departed in a wave of French perfume, Roy, restless, decided to drive over to Odley Cruesis. He fancied himself as a detective. Maybe if he found out something significant, Agatha would offer him a job and he could escape the PR business.

  He drove off through the leafy lanes with the car window open, breathing in the scents of the country evening. He noticed there were lights on in the church hall, a square building next to the old Norman church. Roy parked the car and went into the hall. A bingo session was under way. Villagers were crouched over their cards while Penelope Timson read out the numbers in a high, strangulated voice.

  Roy took a seat at the back on the hall. When Penelope finally called a break for refreshment and everyone rose to hurry over to a side table where there was a tea urn and plates piled high with sandwiches and cakes, Roy had a brilliant idea. He was addicted to watching the television series Poirot, based on the books of Agatha Christie. He particularly liked the bit where the great detective accused one after the other in the last scene before unmasking the murderer. He ran quickly up to the microphone and called out, "Your attention, please!"

  Faces turned towards him. "I am Roy Silver," he announced, "and I am investigating these murders. I know who did it. I shall wait outside. All the guilty person has to do is come to me and confess. I will intercede with the police to help ease the sentence. Thank you."

  Roy left the hall amid a startled silence. As he waited outside, he was very pleased with himself. Of course he didn't expect the murderer to approach him. But he did expect the villagers to crowd round him and discuss the murders. Maybe he could pick up some information that Agatha had missed.

  After half an hour, he could hear Penelope's voice inside the hall once more raised as she called out the bingo numbers.

  He was beginning to feel silly but decided to wait on. He stood beside his car in the darkness. The village had gone "green" by opting to have the street lights switched off. The silhouettes of the old cottages crouched around him in the dark, hunched and sinister.

  Roy doggedly waited for the bingo session to finish. At last it was over and they all filed out. No one spoke. Not even to each other. They spread out towards their various homes as if he didn't exist. When the last one had gone and he saw Penelope locking up the hall, he approached her. "Mrs. Timson!" She started and swung round. Penelope looked at him severely. "That was a silly joke."

  "Wasn't a joke," protested Roy shrilly.

  "Oh, just leave, young man," said Penelope wearily.

  Roy walked slowly back to his car. A small moon was riding high above, casting black shadows across the road in front of him. A breeze had risen and the sounds of it in the leaves of the trees sounded like whispering, menacing voices. He gave himself a shake. The country life was definitely not for him.

  A savage blow from behind struck him on the back of the head. He fell forwards. As he fell, his fluorescent phone slipped out of his jacket pocket and lay on the road in front of his dimming eyes. With his last bit of strength, he pressed the number three, where he had Agatha's phone number logged. "Get help," he croaked. "Murdered." And then he lost consciousness.

  Tilly Glossop phoned Mrs. Timson. "That peculiar young man is lying on the road beside his car. Do you think there's something up with him?"

  "Drunk," said the vicar's wife succinctly. "Leave him to sleep it off."

  _______

  Agatha was aglow with alcohol and lust. Tom had paid her many compliments so that she felt young and attractive again.

  Over coffee, he said, "I have some very good brandy in my room. Why don't we go up there?"

  This is it, thought Agatha. Now or never. Just once, just once, before I'm very old. Take mental inventory. Legs shaved, armpits ditto. Should she have got a Brazilian? Too late now.

  But when they entered his hotel room, she did wish he would take her in his arms and kiss her. He poured her a measure of brandy and then one for himself and sat next to her on a slippery sofa in the small sitting room of his suite. He smiled. "To us and to the night ahead." They clinked glasses.

  "I do like to get certain things out of the way first," he said. "Have you ever had any sexually transmitted diseases?"

  Agatha looked at him with eyes of stone. "Anything else or do you have a very long catalogue?"

  He grinned boyishly. "Don't know how it is, but I never could bear pubic hair on a woman."

  "Neither can a paedophile. Listen, Tom, this is one horrible mistake. If you want to lay down terms like this, I suggest you go somewhere and pay for it. Now, if you don't mind--"

  Her mobile rang. She was later to thank God for the crassness of Tom's approach or she might never have answered it. She listened in alarm to Roy's message.

  "It's Roy! He's hurt."

  She called the police, she called the ambulance, and then got to her feet and hurried to the door. "You've been drinking. You can't drive," exclaimed Tom.

  "Oh, bug off, nancy boy," hissed Agatha, and ran out of the room.

  When Agatha got to Odley Cruesis, she saw the police were already there and Roy was being loaded into an ambulance. She saw Bill Wong and hurried towards him. "Is Roy alive?"

  "Just. It's a bad blow."

  "I'll go in the ambulance with him."

  "Agatha, you've been drinking."

  "So what? I'm not going to drive the ambulance."

  Agatha waited miserably at the hospital and was soon joined by Toni and Sharon. Bill had phoned Toni. "Any idea who did this?" asked Agatha.

  Toni shook her head. "But it seems that Roy went to a bingo meeting at the village hall and claimed he knew the identity of the murderer and the murderer should speak to him outside and confess all."

  "I should never have given him that boxed set of Poirot for Christmas," mourned Agatha. "What on earth came over him? And which of the murders was he talking about? It must be the first one because he knew I was having dinner with Tom."

  "Here's Bill," said Sharon.

  "It's bad," said Bill. "There's bleeding in the brain. They're operating now. You may as well a
ll go home. There's nothing more you can do here."

  "Will he live?"

  "They don't know. But evidently for such a weak-looking fellow, he's got a skull like iron and that might save him."

  "Didn't anyone see anything?"

  Bill told her about the call to the vicar's wife.

  "But that's ridiculous!" exclaimed Agatha. "Roy tells them he knows the identity of the murderer, then he's reported lying on the road and no one thinks they should go and have a look at him?"

  "According to village report, they estimate he was drunk and sleeping it off."

  "Any idea what struck him?"

  "Blunt instrument. Maybe a hammer. I don't like Sergeant Collins, but I was glad of her because she ripped into all these villagers, banging on doors, waking them up, shouting at them--it would have done your heart glad, Agatha. Now, go home."

  "Maybe I can sit by his bed," pleaded Agatha, "and, you know, talk to him."

  "Agatha, it's not a soap. He's not in a coma. He's under anaesthetic on an operating table getting a couple of holes drilled in his head. You'll maybe be able to see him in the morning. Go home and get some sleep."

  Agatha was just wearily climbing into bed when the door opened and Charles strolled in.

  "Roy's been hit on the head," said Agatha. "He might not live."

  She burst into tears. Charles sat down on the bed and hugged her until she had finished crying. "Now, tell me all about it."

  So Agatha did. When she had finished, Charles said, "I've been wondering about Tom Courtney."

  "Why him?" asked Agatha. "Anyway he was having dinner with me while someone was trying to kill Roy. And why would he want to kill John Sunday?"

  "Oh, I just thought that maybe he had already planned to bump off Mum and torch the place and wanted Grudge out of the way before any objections to an expensive building site started up. So he was having dinner with you and you're back at dawn still smelling of Mademoiselle Coco. Did you get seduced?"

  "The call about Roy interrupted dinner, thank God. Do you know he asked me if I had shaved?"

  Charles ran a hand over Agatha's face. "Smooth as a baby's bum. Oh, you mean the other end. What larks! What a chat-up line!"

 

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Hasty Death emm-2 Read onlineEdwardian Murder Mystery 02; Hasty Death emm-2The Constant Companion Read onlineThe Constant CompanionHamish Macbeth 14 (1999) - Death of a Scriptwriter Read onlineHamish Macbeth 14 (1999) - Death of a ScriptwriterGinny Read onlineGinnyHamish Macbeth 10 (1994) - Death of a Charming Man Read onlineHamish Macbeth 10 (1994) - Death of a Charming ManHamish Macbeth 03; Death of an Outsider hm-3 Read onlineHamish Macbeth 03; Death of an Outsider hm-3The Love from Hell ar-11 Read onlineThe Love from Hell ar-11The Scandalous Lady Wright (The Regency Intrigue Series Book 4) Read onlineThe Scandalous Lady Wright (The Regency Intrigue Series Book 4)Hamish Macbeth 17 (2001) - Death of a Dustman Read onlineHamish Macbeth 17 (2001) - Death of a DustmanHamish Macbeth 13 (1997) - Death of a Dentist Read onlineHamish Macbeth 13 (1997) - Death of a DentistThe Paper Princess (The Royal Ambition Series Book 7) Read onlineThe Paper Princess (The Royal Ambition Series Book 7)Rainbird's Revenge: HFTS6 Read onlineRainbird's Revenge: HFTS6The Perfect Gentleman (The Love and Temptation Series Book 7) Read onlineThe Perfect Gentleman (The Love and Temptation Series Book 7)Sir Philip's Folly (The Poor Relation Series Book 4) Read onlineSir Philip's Folly (The Poor Relation Series Book 4)The Witches' Tree--An Agatha Raisin Mystery Read onlineThe Witches' Tree--An Agatha Raisin MysteryDeath of an Outsider Read onlineDeath of an OutsiderHamish MacBeth 03 (1988) - Death of an Outsider Read onlineHamish MacBeth 03 (1988) - Death of an OutsiderAgatha Raisin and the Perfect Paragon Read onlineAgatha Raisin and the Perfect ParagonDeath of a Chimney Sweep Read onlineDeath of a Chimney SweepThe Dreadful Debutante (The Royal Ambition Series Book 1) Read onlineThe Dreadful Debutante (The Royal Ambition Series Book 1)Something Borrowed, Someone Dead Read onlineSomething Borrowed, Someone DeadAgatha Raisin and The Murderous Marriage ar-5 Read onlineAgatha Raisin and The Murderous Marriage ar-5The Highland Countess Read onlineThe Highland CountessDeath of a Chimney Sweep hm-1 Read onlineDeath of a Chimney Sweep hm-1The Skeleton in the Closet Read onlineThe Skeleton in the ClosetSusie Read onlineSusieAgatha Raisin and Kissing Christmas Goodbye Read onlineAgatha Raisin and Kissing Christmas GoodbyeRegency Gold (The Regency Intrigue Series Book 2) Read onlineRegency Gold (The Regency Intrigue Series Book 2)The Marquis Takes a Bride Read onlineThe Marquis Takes a BrideHamish Macbeth 16 (1999) - A Highland Christmas Read onlineHamish Macbeth 16 (1999) - A Highland ChristmasDeath of a Liar Read onlineDeath of a LiarHamish Macbeth 01; Death of a Gossip hm-1 Read onlineHamish Macbeth 01; Death of a Gossip hm-1Love and Lady Lovelace (The Changing Fortunes Series, Vol. 8) Read onlineLove and Lady Lovelace (The Changing Fortunes Series, Vol. 8)Death of an Honest Man Read onlineDeath of an Honest ManThe Desirable Duchess Read onlineThe Desirable DuchessDeception (Daughters of Mannerling 3) Read onlineDeception (Daughters of Mannerling 3)A Highland Christmas hm-16 Read onlineA Highland Christmas hm-16Polly Read onlinePollyThe Savage Marquess Read onlineThe Savage MarquessAgatha Raisin 03 (1994) - The Potted Gardener Read onlineAgatha Raisin 03 (1994) - The Potted GardenerPushing Up Daisies Read onlinePushing Up DaisiesDeath Of An Addict Read onlineDeath Of An AddictBanishment (Daughters of Mannerling 1) Read onlineBanishment (Daughters of Mannerling 1)Amaryllis Read onlineAmaryllisHamish MacBeth 06 (1991) - Death of a Snob Read onlineHamish MacBeth 06 (1991) - Death of a SnobThe Paper Princess Read onlineThe Paper PrincessHamish Macbeth 06; Death of a Snob hm-6 Read onlineHamish Macbeth 06; Death of a Snob hm-6The Dreadful Debutante Read onlineThe Dreadful DebutanteAgatha Raisin and the Fairies of Fryfam Read onlineAgatha Raisin and the Fairies of FryfamHamish Macbeth 22 (2006) - Death of a Dreamer Read onlineHamish Macbeth 22 (2006) - Death of a DreamerDishing the Dirt Read onlineDishing the DirtMinerva Read onlineMinervaDeath of a Nag hm-11 Read onlineDeath of a Nag hm-11Hamish Macbeth 18 (2002) - Death of a Celebrity Read onlineHamish Macbeth 18 (2002) - Death of a CelebrityQuadrille (The Love and Temptation Series Book 5) Read onlineQuadrille (The Love and Temptation Series Book 5)Death of a Glutton hm-8 Read onlineDeath of a Glutton hm-8The Westerby Sisters (Changing Fortunes Series) Read onlineThe Westerby Sisters (Changing Fortunes Series)The Scandalous Marriage (The Dukes and Desires Series Book 7) Read onlineThe Scandalous Marriage (The Dukes and Desires Series Book 7)The Adventuress: HFTS5 Read onlineThe Adventuress: HFTS5Death of a Valentine Read onlineDeath of a ValentineDeath of a Nag Read onlineDeath of a NagDeath of a Dustman hm-17 Read onlineDeath of a Dustman hm-17Hamish Macbeth 09 (1993) - Death of a Travelling Man Read onlineHamish Macbeth 09 (1993) - Death of a Travelling ManThe Loves of Lord Granton (The Changing Fortunes Series, Vol. 2) Read onlineThe Loves of Lord Granton (The Changing Fortunes Series, Vol. 2)Agatha Raisin and a Spoonful of Poison ar-19 Read onlineAgatha Raisin and a Spoonful of Poison ar-19To Dream of Love Read onlineTo Dream of LoveAgatha Raisin 04 (1995) - The Walkers of Dembley Read onlineAgatha Raisin 04 (1995) - The Walkers of DembleyHamish MacBeth 01 (1985) - Death of a Gossip Read onlineHamish MacBeth 01 (1985) - Death of a GossipDeath of a Maid hm-23 Read onlineDeath of a Maid hm-23Belinda Goes to Bath Read onlineBelinda Goes to BathDeath of a Kingfisher Read onlineDeath of a KingfisherDeath of a Charming Man hm-10 Read onlineDeath of a Charming Man hm-10Death of a Prankster hm-7 Read onlineDeath of a Prankster hm-7The Miser of Mayfair: HFTS1 Read onlineThe Miser of Mayfair: HFTS1Hamish Macbeth 05; Death of a Hussy hm-5 Read onlineHamish Macbeth 05; Death of a Hussy hm-5A Governess of Distinction (Endearing Young Charms Book 6) Read onlineA Governess of Distinction (Endearing Young Charms Book 6)The Westerby Inheritance Read onlineThe Westerby InheritanceDeath of a Hussy Read onlineDeath of a HussyHamish MacBeth 07 (1998) - Death of a Prankster Read onlineHamish MacBeth 07 (1998) - Death of a PranksterHamish Macbeth 20 (2004) - Death of a Poison Pen Read onlineHamish Macbeth 20 (2004) - Death of a Poison PenMiss Tonks Turns to Crime Read onlineMiss Tonks Turns to CrimeEdwardian Murder Mystery 01; Snobbery with Violence emm-1 Read onlineEdwardian Murder Mystery 01; Snobbery with Violence emm-1Agatha Raisin and the Wizard of Evesham Read onlineAgatha Raisin and the Wizard of EveshamHamish Macbeth 12 (1996) - Death of a Macho Man Read onlineHamish Macbeth 12 (1996) - Death of a Macho ManYvonne Goes to York Read onlineYvonne Goes to YorkA Highland Christmas Read onlineA Highland ChristmasSweet Masquerade (The Love and Temptation Series Book 4) Read onlineSweet Masquerade (The Love and Temptation Series Book 4)Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wykhadden Read onlineAgatha Raisin and the Witch of WykhaddenThe Dead Ringer Read onlineThe Dead RingerAgatha Raisin 05 (1996) - The Murderous Marriage Read onlineAgatha Raisin 05 (1996) - The Murderous MarriageAgatha Raisin 07 (1998) - The Wellspring of Death Read onlineAgatha Raisin 07 (1998) - The Wellspring of DeathAgatha Raisin: As the Pig Turns ar-22 Read onlineAgatha Raisin: As the Pig Turns ar-22