Agatha Raisin and Kissing Christmas Goodbye Read online

  ‘He’ll kill me if I try to leave,’ whispered Toni, shutting her suitcase.

  ‘No, he won’t. I’ve got two strong men downstairs who’ll make sure he doesn’t. Come along.’

  Agatha stopped at a bank and drew two hundred pounds out of the machine. She paid the two men and dropped them off at the pub before driving Toni to her home.

  ‘Get your bag and come in,’ ordered Agatha. Carrying the camera case, Agatha led the way.

  In the kitchen she ordered Toni to sit down and examined her lip and eye. ‘You won’t need stitches but you’re going to have one hell of a black eye. I’ll make you a cup of sweet tea and then check the spare room. I had a guest who’s just left, so I’ll need to change the sheets.’

  But when she went upstairs, Agatha found that her excellent cleaner, Doris Simpson, had been in and changed the sheets, cleaned the room, and placed a small jug of wild flowers beside the bed.

  She returned to the kitchen. ‘It’s all ready. Has this happened before?’

  ‘He’s never hit me before. Just played nasty tricks. When I was going to school, if he found my homework, he’d rip it up, things like that.’

  ‘Where is your father?’

  ‘I don’t know who he is. Ma would never say.’

  ‘And your mother drinks a lot?’

  ‘All the time.’

  ‘Any others? I mean brothers or sisters?’

  ‘No, just Terry.’

  ‘What a mess. I should report all this to the social services. Stay here for a bit until I figure out what to do. Now, have you eaten anything?’

  Toni shook her head.

  ‘I’ll fix us something, but,’ said Agatha with a rare burst of honesty, ‘I’m not the world’s best cook.’

  She searched in the deep freeze and found a packet of lamb stew, given to her the week before by Mrs Bloxby. She defrosted it and then heated it in the microwave. She put a plate of food in front of Toni and then opened a bottle of wine.

  ‘You’re very kind,’ said Toni awkwardly.

  The doorbell rang.

  ‘Does Terry know where I live?’ asked Agatha nervously.

  ‘No. I didn’t either. You only had phone numbers on that card you gave me.’

  Agatha went to answer it. Her friend, Sir Charles Fraith, stood on the doorstep.

  ‘Come in,’ said Agatha. ‘But I’m in the middle of a bit of a drama.’

  Charles was as beautifully tailored as ever, his fair hair in an excellent cut and his neat features betraying nothing more than amiable curiosity. Agatha introduced Toni and briefly outlined what had been happening.

  Charles helped himself to a glass of wine. ‘I haven’t enough food for you,’ said Agatha.

  ‘I’ve just eaten. Do you know what you should do?’ said Charles.

  ‘About what?’

  ‘About Toni here.’

  ‘It’s arranged. She can stay here as long as she wants.’

  ‘You’ll soon want your own space and start bitching, Agatha.’

  And Agatha, who had been feeling like a saint for rescuing Toni, glared at him.

  ‘Listen,’ said Charles. ‘These days, you can’t lose out buying property. Buy her a flat in Mircester and then when she starts earning enough, charge her rent.’

  Agatha opened her mouth to give an angry retort and then shut it again. Charles might have a point. What if she met the man of her dreams? It wouldn’t help to have a pretty young girl in residence.

  ‘I’ll think about it,’ she said gruffly. She saw that Toni had finished eating. ‘Come along, Toni. I’ll take you upstairs. Have a hot bath and get into bed. You’ll feel a lot better after a good night’s sleep.’

  Later, Toni lay in the comfortable bed and looked about her with a kind of wonder. Everything was so clean and cheerful. Chintz curtains fluttered at the open window. Agatha had brought her up a glass of warm milk and two strong painkillers along with magazines and books.

  How odd that the terrifying Agatha should turn out to be so motherly. And the cottage was the kind she had seen on chocolate boxes and calendars with its deep thatched roof.

  Toni did not expect this heaven to last. But her young life had been full of experience of how to enjoy the moment before the drunken chaos created by her mother and brother descended on her again. She sighed and stretched out and was soon fast asleep.

  Toni awoke with a start and looked at the alarm clock beside her bed – and groaned. Nine o’clock! How could she have overslept? She struggled up and saw a note on the bedside table. It was from Agatha. She read: ‘I think you should take the day off and relax. There is food in the freezer. Help yourself. A.’ Toni got up and stretched. Two white fluffy towels had been placed at the end of her bed. She found the bathroom, had a shower and dressed in a blouse, jeans and sandals.

  She went into the kitchen. Agatha’s cats, Hodge and Boswell, came to meet her. Toni crouched down on the floor and petted them, then stood up and went to the fridge. There were no eggs or bacon. A chest freezer stood against one wall. She lifted the lid. The labels that could still be read showed Agatha’s love for microwaveable food such as curries and lasagne.

  Toni saw a loaf on the counter and decided to settle for a breakfast of toast and coffee.

  She had just finished when the doorbell rang. Toni experienced a pang of fear. What if her brother had come to hunt her down?

  There was a spyhole in the door and she peered through it. A pleasant-looking grey-haired woman stood on the step.

  Toni opened the door. ‘I am Mrs Bloxby,’ said the woman. ‘Mrs Raisin called me. She had not told you how to set the burglar alarm. Let me show you.’

  ‘That is kind of you,’ said Toni.

  She listened carefully to the instructions and then Mrs Bloxby said, ‘I also wondered whether you might like to come with me to the vicarage? You must be hungry. Mrs Raisin only has black coffee and cigarettes for breakfast.’

  Toni was still hungry so she agreed, and ten minutes later was sitting in the vicarage garden listening to the domestic sounds from the kitchen as Mrs Bloxby prepared her breakfast.

  The sun shone down in all its hazy autumn beauty. From the fields above the village came the sound of a tractor.

  The vicar’s wife came out with a tray and unloaded a plate of bacon, sausage and eggs, coffee, toast and marmalade.

  ‘This is very good of you,’ said Toni awkwardly. ‘Did Mrs Raisin tell you why I am staying with her?’

  ‘Mrs Raisin said that you had some trouble at home, that is all.’

  Silence fell as Toni ate steadily. Mrs Bloxby took out some knitting. The needles flashed in the sunlight.

  Toni finished her meal and sat back with a sigh. ‘I’ll need to find somewhere to live,’ she said. ‘I can’t stay with Mrs Raisin forever. We call her Agatha at the office.’

  Mrs Bloxby smiled. ‘It is a very old-fashioned tradition in the village to use second names. I gather you don’t want to go home again.’

  ‘It’s difficult,’ said Toni. Mrs Bloxby smiled and continued to knit. ‘It’s like this,’ said Toni, and then it all burst out of her, all the family troubles.

  ‘What about your father?’ asked Mrs Bloxby.

  ‘I don’t know who he is,’ mumbled Toni.

  ‘I really wouldn’t worry about your future,’ said Mrs Bloxby. ‘Mrs Raisin is a great organizer.’ She put down her knitting. ‘Now, I must go about my parish duties.’

  ‘Can I help?’

  ‘As a matter of fact, you can. One of my duties is to read to old Mrs Wilson. She is going blind.’

  ‘I can do that.’

  ‘I will take you there.’

  Such as Agatha and Mrs Bloxby seemed old to the youthful Toni, but Mrs Wilson seemed as old as an Egyptian mummy. Despite the heat of the day, she was wrapped in shawls. Her face was criss-crossed with deep wrinkles and her scalp showed through her thin grey hair. Mrs Bloxby introduced Toni and left. Mrs Wilson turned milky eyes on Toni. ‘That book there,’ she
ordered. ‘Begin at the beginning.’

  Toni picked it up. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

  She began to read, reflecting that it was a good thing the old lady still had her hearing and she didn’t have to shout. She had never been much of a reader, but she became so involved in the story that she only realized after an hour that Mrs Wilson had fallen asleep.

  Toni put the book down and let herself out. Mrs Wilson’s cottage was at the top of the village. Toni walked down under a green arch of trees and called in at the general stores to ask for directions to Agatha’s house because she had forgotten the road. The villagers in the shop were obviously trying not to stare too hard at her black eye.

  In the afternoon, Patrick returned. He said that the locals hadn’t been very forthcoming at first, until he had stood them a round of drinks. It was then they had begun to talk. ‘They’re really bitter,’ he said. ‘Turns out that Mrs Tamworthy’s got building permission for some of her land. It’s agricultural land, so they feel she must have bribed someone. They say when she sells, the new owner can put up houses and they’ll be expensive houses that no one in the village can afford. They are planning a protest march to the council offices. The ringleader appears to be the publican, called Paul Chambers. He says that Mrs Tamworthy would be better off dead. He says none of her family would sell the place.’

  Phil came into the office. ‘I didn’t get very far with Jimmy Tamworthy, but he’s a quiet, gentlemanly type. I got the idea that he might consider working in a shop beneath him.’

  ‘I don’t suppose we can do much more until I get out there for the weekend,’ said Agatha. ‘Let’s get back to the more mundane cases.’

  Toni was just wondering whether she should go back to the general stores and perhaps buy something to prepare a dinner for the evening when she heard a key turning in the lock. Agatha must be home early. ‘I’m in the kitchen,’ she called.

  Charles Fraith walked in.

  ‘Have you come to stay?’ asked Toni. ‘I mean, Agatha has only one spare bedroom.’

  ‘I may sleep on the sofa or I may go home. It doesn’t matter. You still look as if you’ve been in the wars. Do you have a car?’

  ‘No, I can’t drive yet.’

  ‘Like a driving lesson?’

  Toni’s eyes shone. ‘I’d love that.’

  When she was with Agatha or Charles, Toni spoke in carefully precise English, unlike the voice she used at home or with her friends. She could hear inside her head, as she spoke, that other, coarser accent struggling to get out.

  Charles proved to be a good and patient teacher. He took her up on to the quiet back country roads.

  By the time they got back to Agatha’s cottage, Charles said, ‘You’re a good pupil. You’ll be driving in no time at all.’

  Agatha had arrived home. She looked up as they both came into the kitchen. Toni’s eyes were shining and Charles looked amused.

  ‘What have you been up to?’ asked Agatha.

  ‘I’ve been giving Toni driving lessons.’

  ‘Good for you. Sit down, Toni. I’ve got your contract. Read it carefully and sign it at the places I’ve marked with a cross. Charles, Roy was going to come with me on Saturday to Mrs Tamworthy’s birthday party.’

  ‘Who’s Mrs Tamworthy?’

  Agatha told him. When she had finished, Charles said, ‘It all sounds very odd. I’m curious. I’ll come with you.’

  ‘Thanks. I think the old lady might just be bonkers, but I wasn’t going to enjoy being on my own.’

  ‘I’ve finished,’ said Toni. ‘It’s a generous wage.’

  ‘You’ll not only be earning it,’ said Agatha, ‘you’ll soon be paying me rent, so you’ll need it. I’m buying a little flat round the corner from the office. You should be able to move in after a fortnight.’ She raised a hand to cut off a volley of excited thanks from Toni. ‘As I said, you’ll be earning it. Charles, are you staying?’

  ‘May as well. I’ll sleep on the sofa.’

  ‘You’ve got a perfectly good bedroom in that mansion of yours,’ Agatha pointed out, ‘and it’s only half an hour’s drive away.’

  ‘My aunt is having friends round this evening.’ Charles lived with his aunt. ‘It’ll be like a geriatric convention. Much more fun here. Tell you what, I’ll take you both out for dinner.’

  ‘I haven’t the right clothes to wear,’ said Toni, imagining a grand restaurant.

  ‘You’ll do as you are,’ said Agatha. ‘I’ll bet dear Charles here means to take us to the pub.’

  ‘You are so right, Aggie.’

  ‘Got your wallet?’

  ‘Don’t be nasty.’

  Toni loved the Red Lion with its oak beams, stone floor and little mullioned windows. Agatha was chatting to Charles about the forthcoming weekend. Toni studied her uneasily. She was very grateful to Agatha for all her generosity but was frightened it was merely a whim and Agatha would soon grow tired of playing the Lady Bountiful, not knowing that a good part of Agatha’s generosity was prompted by shrewd business acumen. Agatha saw a promising detective, a young detective who would not leave her to go to university as Harry had done. Charles was also a puzzle. He was light and amusing, but Toni wondered what he really thought about things, not knowing that Agatha, who had known him a long time, often worried about the same thing.

  They all ate ham, egg and chips. Agatha and Charles had a glass of wine each and Toni had an orange juice.

  When they got back to the cottage, Toni suddenly felt awkward. Were Charles and Agatha having an affair? Charles seemed a bit younger than Agatha. Agatha, despite her stocky figure and small eyes, exuded an air of sexiness of which she seemed totally unaware.

  Toni decided to plead an early night. ‘Have you a copy of A Christmas Carol?’ she asked.

  ‘Don’t think so.’

  ‘It’s just that your friend, Mrs Bloxby, came round. She got me to read to this old lady and that was the book. I keep wondering what happens.’

  Charles laughed. ‘You’ve led a charmed life if you don’t know. There have been so many films and plays based on that book.’

  ‘Never mind,’ said Agatha. ‘There’s a box of detective stories in the kitchen. Help yourself.’

  Toni selected a copy of The Franchise Affair by Josephine Tey. It was the first detective story she had ever read. She read on into the night, until her eyelids drooped and she fell asleep.

  In the next two days, Agatha found she was engaged to find evidence in two more divorce cases. Toni, who had returned to work on Wednesday, had done well retrieving two cats and one dog, having taken Mrs Freedman’s advice and gone to the animal shelter.

  Agatha turned to her. ‘I think I’ll put you on the Horrington case, Toni,’ she said. ‘Here is the file. Study it. It’s quite simple. Mrs Horrington thinks her husband is playing around and wants proof. Phil will give you the camera and lens. You haven’t seen your new flat yet. We’ll go along after work and you can actually move in tomorrow. I’m paying rent for it until the sale goes through.’

  Toni was worried. Agatha was paying her a good salary. Agatha had found her a flat. She felt the weight of gratitude and obligation. She hoped against hope she would prove lucky with this divorce case.

  Mr Horrington worked as sales director of a shoe company out on the industrial estate. Toni cycled out to the estate. The day was still sunny and the radio that morning had announced a hosepipe ban.

  Her heart sank as she cycled around the industrial estate. The ground around the shoe factory was bare of bushes and trees. Nowhere to hide. How had the others managed to watch him? If he left in his car, she could hardly keep up with him on her bicycle because, unlike the centre of town, the roads around the industrial estate did not carry much traffic.

  She took out her notes and found his home address and headed there instead. Mrs Horrington opened the door and scowled at the young girl with the fading black eye. ‘Go away. I’m not buying anything,’ she said.

  She was a car
efully preserved woman with expensively blonded hair. Her make-up was quite thick and her lipstick a scarlet slash across her mouth.

  ‘I’m from the agency,’ said Toni. ‘I am working on your divorce.’

  ‘This is an outrage,’ exclaimed Mrs Horrington. ‘Wait there!’

  She marched indoors and Toni waited.

  At last the door opened again and a mollified Mrs Horrington said, ‘You’d better come in. Mrs Raisin says you are not only brilliant but lucky. I’ll go along with it for the moment.’

  ‘I wanted to know if your husband had a favourite restaurant for lunch,’ said Toni.

  ‘I believe he goes to La Nouvelle Cuisine,’ she said. ‘Why?’

  ‘I wondered if he might take someone there.’

  Mrs Horrington gave a contemptuous laugh. ‘He would hardly parade anyone in front of the business community. They all lunch there.’

  ‘How did you guess he was having an affair?’

  ‘New underwear. Smells of scent. Looks guilty as hell.’

  ‘Have you challenged him?’

  ‘Oh, yes. He said it was all nonsense. He said he would take me on a cruise for a second honeymoon. No sign of him booking anything.’

  ‘Do you have a photograph of him? I couldn’t find one in the file.’

  ‘I gave one to that Raisin woman. Oh, wait here.’

  After a few minutes, Mrs Horrington came back with a photograph. It showed a plump middle-aged man with thinning grey hair and a paunch.

  ‘He’s dyed his hair black since that was taken,’ said Mrs Horrington. ‘Another sign.’

  ‘I’ll get back to you,’ said Toni.

  ‘You’d better do it quick. If you don’t have any results by the weekend, I’m employing another agency.’

  Toni pedalled under the unseasonally hot sun into the centre of Mircester. She propped her bike outside the restaurant and went in, the camera slung round her neck.

  A pleasant wave of air conditioning hit her. A formidable maître d’ approached. ‘I am taking pictures for a new magazine called Gloucester Food,’ said Toni, trying to imitate Charles’s polished vowels as best as she could.