Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death Read online

Page 15


  ‘The police will have done that.’

  ‘Still . . .’

  ‘Oh, all right. We’ll walk along.’

  The corner shop turned out to be one of the last survivors of its kind. Not only did it stock groceries and newspapers, but postcards, gifts, and bags of garden fertilizer.

  There was a small wizened man behind the counter. ‘We are helping the police with their inquiries,’ said James, quickly flashing a credit card in the gloom of the shop.

  ‘I’ve told the police all I know. Mrs Darcy’s sister was in here the morning after that murder. She bought the Express and The Daily Telegraph and a pint of milk.’

  ‘Are you sure it was Miss Owen?’ asked Agatha.

  ‘Yes, she’s been in here before. Besides she said something like, “I’m back visiting my sister. I wish she’d do her own shopping.”’

  ‘But Miss Owen and Mrs Darcy are very much alike.’

  ‘Mrs Darcy wears glasses. Her sister don’t.’

  ‘But what if Mrs Darcy had taken her spectacles off? Would you be able to tell the difference?’

  ‘I s’pose. Miss Owen, she wears trousers all the time and Mrs Darcy wears frocks.’

  James tugged at Agatha’s arm. ‘That will be all. We won’t be troubling you further.’

  ‘Don’t you see?’ said Agatha as they walked back to the car. ‘Mrs Darcy could have been covering for her sister. We’d better tell Bill.’

  ‘You know what I think?’ said James gloomily. ‘I think that shopkeeper will tell Mrs Darcy of our visit and that she will complain to the police and I will get a lecture for impersonating a detective or something.’

  ‘Surely not.’

  ‘Surely yes. That shopkeeper will tell his other customers that we practically accused Mrs Darcy of covering for her sister. I hope we don’t end up in court. In fact, we’d better go and tell Bill.’

  Bill Wong listened to them, his face darkening.

  ‘You’ve gone too far this time,’ he said. ‘If she makes a complaint, I can’t protect you. Just leave it alone now. I should not have encouraged you.’

  ‘But we did find out something for you,’ pleaded Agatha.

  ‘No, you have done a bad thing. I cannot do anything to limit the damage. Let’s just hope we hear no more about it.’

  ‘Now, where?’ asked Agatha as they stood in the car park outside the police headquarters.

  ‘Fred Shaw?’

  ‘I feel small,’ said Agatha wearily. ‘I feel I’ve just been ticked off by the teacher. I feel I’m a bad person. I’ll tell you, James, I have never been so insulted by so many people as I have been since the first murder took place.’

  ‘Oh, you’re all right,’ said James absent-mindedly. ‘Let’s see Fred.’

  They drove out of Mircester. It was the end of August. A few leaves were already turning yellow and there was a faint chill in the air. Agatha began to feel that every winter in the country with its fogs and icy roads was another little death. She could take a holiday somewhere sunny and miss the bad weather and the frantic ho-ho-ho jollity of Christmas, but the fact was she was increasingly reluctant to leave her cats. When they die, she vowed, I’ll never keep another animal. It was no fun going away any more when part of her heart was always worrying if they were all right.

  Her thoughts turned to Guy. He had at least given her a buzz when she was out with him, although the look-what-I’ve-got feeling was mitigated by the feeling that people might think her too old for him.

  And what of James? Driving so competently, seemingly unfazed by the fact that they might both soon be in deep trouble. He would probably take himself off, she thought bitterly, and leave her alone to face the music.

  She no longer knew what she felt for him. Relationships had to move forward, even an inch, or, like one of those videos she rented, the film came to an end and the tape began to run backwards – only, in her mind, showing not the happy scenes, but a long list of rejections.

  She would see this case to the end, if it ever ended, and then detach herself from him.

  They drove into Ancombe and stopped outside Fred Shaw’s shop. He was serving a customer. He looked down the shop and saw them. ‘Be with you shortly,’ he called.

  He served his customer with four batteries, said goodbye, and then approached them.

  ‘What do you want?’ he asked truculently.

  ‘Just a few questions,’ said James.

  ‘I’m shutting the place up for lunchtime,’ he said. ‘Come into the back shop.’

  He locked the door and pulled down the blind. He jerked his head and they followed him into the back shop.

  ‘So what do you want?’ There was no offer of whisky this time.

  ‘We feel that life in Ancombe will never really go back to normal until these murders have been solved,’ began James.

  ‘So what’s that got to do with me? The police are working on it.’

  ‘Yes, but you are a man of business, a shrewd man,’ said Agatha quickly.

  The truculence left Fred’s face. ‘I do see a lot of things other people don’t,’ he said in a mollified voice.

  ‘I heard something about Andy Stiggs being in love with Mrs Struthers. Mrs Struthers must have been younger than her husband.’

  ‘Yes, she was. Andy also thought he should have been chairman of the council as well. He will be now.’

  ‘Do you think he could have murdered Robina as well?’ asked Agatha.

  ‘Here now. I never said he murdered Robert. But he was always around Robina’s. Maybe he saw something.’

  ‘As Andy Stiggs was against the water company, that must have soured his relations with Robina,’ said Agatha.

  ‘I think he thought he could persuade her to change her mind.’

  Agatha looked at him thoughtfully, wondering when she could slip in a question about his speech. Instead she said, ‘Was there ever a Mrs Stiggs?’

  ‘Yes, he married Ethel Fairweather on the rebound right after Robert got married and lived unhappily right up until her death. She was a shrew. In some way, he blamed Robert for his rotten marriage, know what I mean?’

  ‘Where does he live?’ asked James. ‘I have his address but I’m not sure exactly where his cottage is.’

  ‘Second on the left past the church.’

  ‘You never called to see me with your speech,’ said Agatha.

  ‘What speech?’

  ‘The one you were going to make at the fête.’

  ‘When I heard that pop group was coming, I knew you wouldn’t want me.’

  And yet the pop group was a relatively late booking, thought Agatha. And when Fred had thought that Jane Harris was to open the fête, it had not stopped him.

  ‘You don’t think Mary Owen could have had anything to do with it?’ asked Agatha. ‘I mean, it turns out as far as I can gather that she’s not broke after all. She paid those protesters.’

  ‘She’s big enough, strong enough and nasty enough,’ said Fred. ‘But Andy Stiggs is my choice.’

  ‘You thought it was Mary Owen at one time.’

  ‘Did I? I can’t remember that.’

  ‘So let’s try Andy Stiggs,’ said James when they left the shop.

  ‘What’s our approach?’

  ‘Same as with Fred. Just want to get it cleared up.’

  Andy Stiggs’s cottage was a mellow building of Cotswold stone with a newly thatched roof. There was a pleasing jumble of old-fashioned flowers: stocks, impatiens, delphiniums, lupins, and roses, roses all the way.

  Andy Stiggs was weeding a flowerbed. He straightened up as they came through the garden gate.

  ‘What?’ he demanded.

  Oh, to be from the police and be able to say, ‘Just a few questions,’ with an air of authority, thought Agatha.

  ‘We were in the village,’ said James, ‘and we thought we would drop in and see you.’

  ‘Why?’ He brushed earth from his large hands.

  ‘As vice-chairman of the council, soon to
be chairman, you must know a lot about what goes on in the village.’

  ‘And what’s that got to do with you? You don’t live here.’

  ‘You surely want these murders cleared up.’

  ‘Of course I do, and the answer is staring you in the face. It’s that water company. It’s my belief that poor Robina changed her mind and so they bumped her off.’

  ‘I think it’s only on TV that companies go around bumping people off,’ said Agatha.

  ‘You can’t see what’s under your nose because that Guy Freemont has been romancing you,’ said Andy.

  ‘That’s got nothing to do with it!’ Agatha’s face flamed.

  ‘To my mind it has. What else would a young man like that be doing with a woman of your age?’

  ‘That’s enough of that,’ said James coldly. ‘You are just as suspect. I gather that Robert Struthers pinched the love of your life from under your nose.’

  ‘That was years and years ago.’

  ‘Sometimes resentments grow with the passing of time.’

  Andy picked up a hoe and brandished it at them. ‘Get out of here. Just get out and don’t come round again or I’ll . . .’

  ‘Or I’ll what?’ asked James. ‘Murder us? Come along, Agatha.’

  ‘I think I’ve got a headache coming on,’ said Agatha as they walked back to the car. ‘If you don’t mind, I would like to go home and lie down for a little.’

  ‘I think we’ve done enough for one day anyway,’ said James.

  Half an hour later, Agatha crawled under the duvet on her bed and drew her knees up to her chin. She felt she could not go on investigating the murders. The council members with their insults had finally been able to intimidate her.

  Despite the warmth of the duvet and the warmth of the day, she shivered. All the Carsely security, all the safety, all the comfort seemed to have been ripped away and she was alone once more in a hostile world.

  The phone rang, loudly and imperatively. She heaved herself up on one elbow and looked at it. What if it was James? No, probably Roy trying to get her back into PR, or something like that. Let it ring and she would check the answering service in a few minutes and find out who had called.

  She waited and then dialled 1571. ‘There is one message,’ said the prissy voice. ‘Would you like to hear it?’

  ‘Yes,’ muttered Agatha.

  ‘I am afraid I didn’t quite get that. Would you like to hear your message?’

  ‘Yes!’ shouted Agatha, exasperated.

  She waited. Then a harsh voice said, ‘This is Mary Owen. Come and see me as soon as possible.’

  Oh, dear, thought Agatha bleakly. She’s heard about us questioning the corner shop. I’d better get James.

  But there was no reply. Agatha climbed out of bed and washed and dressed. She suddenly did not want to wait for James. She wanted to get it over and done with.

  She drove steadily to the manor-house in Ancombe, wondering all the while if Mary meant to take her to court for harassment or invasion of privacy or something.

  Mary answered the door. ‘Follow me,’ she said curtly. She led the way into a dark drawing-room: beamed ceiling, thick curtains, stuffed creatures in glass cases, a brass urn of pampas-grass, a drawing-room out of a Hammer horror movie.

  ‘Sit down,’ barked Mary.

  ‘I’d rather stand.’ Agatha felt she might have to make a quick getaway.

  ‘Very well. You have been spreading scandal in my sister’s neighbourhood, questioning her local shopkeeper. If you do anything like that again, a nasty accident could happen to you.’

  Mary had walked up close to Agatha as she said this. Agatha took a step backwards.

  ‘We were just trying to clear up loose ends,’ she protested. ‘If you are innocent, you have nothing to fear.’

  ‘Just who the hell do you think you are?’ She grabbed Agatha by the shoulder and pulled her towards a large mirror over the fireplace. ‘Look at yourself! You are a middle-aged woman and no lady. You poke your nose into things that don’t concern you.’ She gave Agatha another shove. ‘Just get out of here and remember: Any more interference and I’ll come looking for you!’

  Thoroughly demoralized, Agatha stumbled for the door. She drove off, not even looking in the driving mirror to see if Mary was watching her. She never wanted to see her again.

  She was getting out of her car outside her cottage when Mrs Darry came scuttling along, the small bundle of yapping hair which passed for a dog trotting in front of her.

  ‘Mrs Raisin!’ she called.

  Darry, Darcy, bitches all, thought Agatha, and whipping out her keys, let herself into her cottage and slammed the door.

  She leaned her back against the door and breathed deeply.

  The doorbell rang. ‘Go away!’ shrieked Agatha.

  ‘Are you all right, dear?’ The voice of Mrs Bloxby came faintly from the other side.

  Agatha opened the door and promptly burst into tears.

  ‘Oh, come along into the kitchen,’ said Mrs Bloxby, putting an arm around Agatha’s shaking shoulders.

  Rubbing her eyes on the back of her sleeve, Agatha allowed herself to be led through to her kitchen and gently thrust down into a chair.

  ‘I’ll make some strong sweet tea,’ said the vicar’s wife, plugging in the electric kettle and then handing Agatha the box of tissues which had been lying on the kitchen counter.

  Agatha blew her nose and said weakly, ‘I’m sorry. Everything got too much for me.’

  ‘Wait until I make us some tea and you can tell me all about it.’

  Soon, with her hands wrapped around a mug of tea, Agatha poured out everything, about her shame at her affair with Guy, about not knowing where she stood with James, and finally about the threat from Mary Owen.

  ‘That’s very interesting,’ said Mrs Bloxby. ‘About Mary Owen.’

  ‘Do you mean if she could threaten me, she could have murdered them?’

  ‘Not exactly. If Mary Owen and her sister were the straight and outraged people they claim to be, why did they not complain to the police?’

  ‘Maybe they did.’

  ‘Can you find out?’

  ‘Wait a minute. I’ll try to get Bill.’

  To Agatha’s relief, Bill Wong was at police headquarters.

  ‘What is it now, Agatha?’ he asked sharply. ‘What have you been up to?’

  Agatha told him about Mary’s threat and then said, ‘Has either Mary or her sister complained to the police about me and James?’

  ‘No, thank goodness.’

  ‘Don’t you see, that’s what so odd about it? If she and her sister were as innocent as they claim to be, they’d simply have gone to the police.’

  There was a silence. Then Bill said slowly, ‘But you are making a complaint about Mary Owen threatening you.’

  ‘I don’t know, Bill. No witnesses. But she phoned and left a message on my answering service asking me to come and see her.’

  ‘Do you still have that message?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Keep it. I’d like to listen to it. But I’ll go and have a talk to her.’

  ‘Are you sure she isn’t in need of money, Bill?’

  ‘Oh, that. No, we checked her bank statements. She’s pretty wealthy.’

  ‘So why did Fred Shaw say she wasn’t?’

  ‘I asked him. He said since she did all the gardening and cleaning herself, with only a bit of occasional help, he assumed she had gone broke. Leave it to me.’

  He rang off. Agatha rejoined Mrs Bloxby in the kitchen. ‘Neither Mary nor her sister complained to the police.’

  ‘Very odd, that,’ said Mrs Bloxby. ‘I don’t like to see you so distressed.’

  ‘It’s all the insults and cracks about my affair with Guy. I’ve been made to feel like a vulgar trollop.’

  ‘You must not take it all to heart. The fact is that you are dealing with a lot of frightened people. Everyone is suspect and they know it and so they take their fright out on you
because they see you as some enemy stirring up the muddy waters.’

  ‘I hadn’t thought of it that way. I slammed the door in Mrs Darry’s face before you came. She’s a horror.’

  ‘I’m afraid she is. Cheer up. She whines that she is very disappointed in Carsely and that it is not a very nice place at all. I feel she will be leaving us soon.’

  ‘I do hope so. That woman has halitosis of the soul.’

  After Mrs Bloxby had left, Agatha went upstairs and washed her face and put on make-up. She would call on James and tell him about Mary. If only he would put his arms about her and hold her close.

  Bracing herself, she went next door and rang his bell.

  James answered the door, looking flustered. ‘What is it, Agatha?’

  ‘Aren’t you going to ask me in?’

  ‘I’m actually very busy packing.’

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘I’m going up to London for a few days.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Private business.’

  Agatha felt so rejected, so forlorn, that she did not tell him about Mary. ‘Bye,’ she said weakly and walked away.

  James looked after her impatiently, at the droop of her shoulders. He opened his mouth to call her back and then shut it again and went back inside to finish his packing.

  Agatha, in her own cottage, dialled Roy’s office. She didn’t want to be alone. Roy would surely come running if she asked him.

  Roy came on the phone. ‘Changed your mind about the water company, Aggie?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I mean, are you going to go on working for them after all?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘So is this just a friendly chat?’

  ‘I wondered whether you would like to come down for the weekend?’

  Roy had been invited to a barbecue on Saturday by his boss and he was not going to turn down such an important invitation, particularly as the boss had a marriageable daughter.

  ‘Sorry, sweetie, too busy. Maybe another time.’

  ‘Yes. Bye.’

  Agatha sat staring at the phone. She wondered if she should pack a suitcase herself, drive to Heathrow and get on the first available plane out to anywhere.

  The phone rang. Agatha picked it up cautiously, as if the receiver might bite.

 

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Hasty Death emm-2 Read onlineEdwardian Murder Mystery 02; Hasty Death emm-2The Constant Companion Read onlineThe Constant CompanionHamish Macbeth 14 (1999) - Death of a Scriptwriter Read onlineHamish Macbeth 14 (1999) - Death of a ScriptwriterGinny Read onlineGinnyHamish Macbeth 10 (1994) - Death of a Charming Man Read onlineHamish Macbeth 10 (1994) - Death of a Charming ManHamish Macbeth 03; Death of an Outsider hm-3 Read onlineHamish Macbeth 03; Death of an Outsider hm-3The Love from Hell ar-11 Read onlineThe Love from Hell ar-11The Scandalous Lady Wright (The Regency Intrigue Series Book 4) Read onlineThe Scandalous Lady Wright (The Regency Intrigue Series Book 4)Hamish Macbeth 17 (2001) - Death of a Dustman Read onlineHamish Macbeth 17 (2001) - Death of a DustmanHamish Macbeth 13 (1997) - Death of a Dentist Read onlineHamish Macbeth 13 (1997) - Death of a DentistThe Paper Princess (The Royal Ambition Series Book 7) Read onlineThe Paper Princess (The Royal Ambition Series Book 7)Rainbird's Revenge: HFTS6 Read onlineRainbird's Revenge: HFTS6The Perfect Gentleman (The Love and Temptation Series Book 7) Read onlineThe Perfect Gentleman (The Love and Temptation Series Book 7)Sir Philip's Folly (The Poor Relation Series Book 4) Read onlineSir Philip's Folly (The Poor Relation Series Book 4)The Witches' Tree--An Agatha Raisin Mystery Read onlineThe Witches' Tree--An Agatha Raisin MysteryDeath of an Outsider Read onlineDeath of an OutsiderHamish MacBeth 03 (1988) - Death of an Outsider Read onlineHamish MacBeth 03 (1988) - Death of an OutsiderAgatha Raisin and the Perfect Paragon Read onlineAgatha Raisin and the Perfect ParagonDeath of a Chimney Sweep Read onlineDeath of a Chimney SweepThe Dreadful Debutante (The Royal Ambition Series Book 1) Read onlineThe Dreadful Debutante (The Royal Ambition Series Book 1)Something Borrowed, Someone Dead Read onlineSomething Borrowed, Someone DeadAgatha Raisin and The Murderous Marriage ar-5 Read onlineAgatha Raisin and The Murderous Marriage ar-5The Highland Countess Read onlineThe Highland CountessDeath of a Chimney Sweep hm-1 Read onlineDeath of a Chimney Sweep hm-1The Skeleton in the Closet Read onlineThe Skeleton in the ClosetSusie Read onlineSusieAgatha Raisin and Kissing Christmas Goodbye Read onlineAgatha Raisin and Kissing Christmas GoodbyeRegency Gold (The Regency Intrigue Series Book 2) Read onlineRegency Gold (The Regency Intrigue Series Book 2)The Marquis Takes a Bride Read onlineThe Marquis Takes a BrideHamish Macbeth 16 (1999) - A Highland Christmas Read onlineHamish Macbeth 16 (1999) - A Highland ChristmasDeath of a Liar Read onlineDeath of a LiarHamish Macbeth 01; Death of a Gossip hm-1 Read onlineHamish Macbeth 01; Death of a Gossip hm-1Love and Lady Lovelace (The Changing Fortunes Series, Vol. 8) Read onlineLove and Lady Lovelace (The Changing Fortunes Series, Vol. 8)Death of an Honest Man Read onlineDeath of an Honest ManThe Desirable Duchess Read onlineThe Desirable DuchessDeception (Daughters of Mannerling 3) Read onlineDeception (Daughters of Mannerling 3)A Highland Christmas hm-16 Read onlineA Highland Christmas hm-16Polly Read onlinePollyThe Savage Marquess Read onlineThe Savage MarquessAgatha Raisin 03 (1994) - The Potted Gardener Read onlineAgatha Raisin 03 (1994) - The Potted GardenerPushing Up Daisies Read onlinePushing Up DaisiesDeath Of An Addict Read onlineDeath Of An AddictBanishment (Daughters of Mannerling 1) Read onlineBanishment (Daughters of Mannerling 1)Amaryllis Read onlineAmaryllisHamish MacBeth 06 (1991) - Death of a Snob Read onlineHamish MacBeth 06 (1991) - Death of a SnobThe Paper Princess Read onlineThe Paper PrincessHamish Macbeth 06; Death of a Snob hm-6 Read onlineHamish Macbeth 06; Death of a Snob hm-6The Dreadful Debutante Read onlineThe Dreadful DebutanteAgatha Raisin and the Fairies of Fryfam Read onlineAgatha Raisin and the Fairies of FryfamHamish Macbeth 22 (2006) - Death of a Dreamer Read onlineHamish Macbeth 22 (2006) - Death of a DreamerDishing the Dirt Read onlineDishing the DirtMinerva Read onlineMinervaDeath of a Nag hm-11 Read onlineDeath of a Nag hm-11Hamish Macbeth 18 (2002) - Death of a Celebrity Read onlineHamish Macbeth 18 (2002) - Death of a CelebrityQuadrille (The Love and Temptation Series Book 5) Read onlineQuadrille (The Love and Temptation Series Book 5)Death of a Glutton hm-8 Read onlineDeath of a Glutton hm-8The Westerby Sisters (Changing Fortunes Series) Read onlineThe Westerby Sisters (Changing Fortunes Series)The Scandalous Marriage (The Dukes and Desires Series Book 7) Read onlineThe Scandalous Marriage (The Dukes and Desires Series Book 7)The Adventuress: HFTS5 Read onlineThe Adventuress: HFTS5Death of a Valentine Read onlineDeath of a ValentineDeath of a Nag Read onlineDeath of a NagDeath of a Dustman hm-17 Read onlineDeath of a Dustman hm-17Hamish Macbeth 09 (1993) - Death of a Travelling Man Read onlineHamish Macbeth 09 (1993) - Death of a Travelling ManThe Loves of Lord Granton (The Changing Fortunes Series, Vol. 2) Read onlineThe Loves of Lord Granton (The Changing Fortunes Series, Vol. 2)Agatha Raisin and a Spoonful of Poison ar-19 Read onlineAgatha Raisin and a Spoonful of Poison ar-19To Dream of Love Read onlineTo Dream of LoveAgatha Raisin 04 (1995) - The Walkers of Dembley Read onlineAgatha Raisin 04 (1995) - The Walkers of DembleyHamish MacBeth 01 (1985) - Death of a Gossip Read onlineHamish MacBeth 01 (1985) - Death of a GossipDeath of a Maid hm-23 Read onlineDeath of a Maid hm-23Belinda Goes to Bath Read onlineBelinda Goes to BathDeath of a Kingfisher Read onlineDeath of a KingfisherDeath of a Charming Man hm-10 Read onlineDeath of a Charming Man hm-10Death of a Prankster hm-7 Read onlineDeath of a Prankster hm-7The Miser of Mayfair: HFTS1 Read onlineThe Miser of Mayfair: HFTS1Hamish Macbeth 05; Death of a Hussy hm-5 Read onlineHamish Macbeth 05; Death of a Hussy hm-5A Governess of Distinction (Endearing Young Charms Book 6) Read onlineA Governess of Distinction (Endearing Young Charms Book 6)The Westerby Inheritance Read onlineThe Westerby InheritanceDeath of a Hussy Read onlineDeath of a HussyHamish MacBeth 07 (1998) - Death of a Prankster Read onlineHamish MacBeth 07 (1998) - Death of a PranksterHamish Macbeth 20 (2004) - Death of a Poison Pen Read onlineHamish Macbeth 20 (2004) - Death of a Poison PenMiss Tonks Turns to Crime Read onlineMiss Tonks Turns to CrimeEdwardian Murder Mystery 01; Snobbery with Violence emm-1 Read onlineEdwardian Murder Mystery 01; Snobbery with Violence emm-1Agatha Raisin and the Wizard of Evesham Read onlineAgatha Raisin and the Wizard of EveshamHamish Macbeth 12 (1996) - Death of a Macho Man Read onlineHamish Macbeth 12 (1996) - Death of a Macho ManYvonne Goes to York Read onlineYvonne Goes to YorkA Highland Christmas Read onlineA Highland ChristmasSweet Masquerade (The Love and Temptation Series Book 4) Read onlineSweet Masquerade (The Love and Temptation Series Book 4)Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wykhadden Read onlineAgatha Raisin and the Witch of WykhaddenThe Dead Ringer Read onlineThe Dead RingerAgatha Raisin 05 (1996) - The Murderous Marriage Read onlineAgatha Raisin 05 (1996) - The Murderous MarriageAgatha Raisin 07 (1998) - The Wellspring of Death Read onlineAgatha Raisin 07 (1998) - The Wellspring of DeathAgatha Raisin: As the Pig Turns ar-22 Read onlineAgatha Raisin: As the Pig Turns ar-22