Agatha Raisin The Deadly Dance ar-15 Read online

  She did not know that PC Betty Howse was in that car, having been ordered to tail Agatha.

  Agatha walked across the road and rang the bell. There was a long silence. She rang the bell again.

  At last, Joyce Peterson opened the door. She had been crying. Her beautiful face was blotched with tears.

  “I wondered how you were doing,” Agatha began.

  Joyce looked nervously over her shoulder. “Now is not a good time to call,” she said. “I’m busy.”

  She was suddenly jerked aside and Mark loomed in the doorway. “You!” he said in accents of loathing. He towered over Agatha, who backed out onto the pavement. Mark followed her.

  Agatha was wearing a loose silk blouse under her open coat. He seized her blouse by the neck and twisted it and then banged her up against the wall of the cottage.

  “You leave us alone, you old bitch,” he raged. He gave Agatha’s head a nasty thump against the wall.

  A cool voice behind them said, “Let her go immediately.”

  Betty Howse was in plainclothes.

  “Get lost.” Mark banged Agatha’s head again.

  “That’s it,” said Betty. She flashed her warrant card. “Mark Goddham, I am charging you with assault.” She recited the caution while Mark stood frozen.

  Agatha had read in books of people’s eyes going red with fury and thought the description poetic licence, but Mark’s eyes did look red as they blazed with anger.

  He released Agatha and stared down at Betty.

  “And just how are you going to take me in?”

  He reached out to grab Betty, who produced one of those expanding police batons from behind her back and whacked him over the legs. As he doubled up, she twisted him round and handcuffed him.

  “You wait there,” she said to Agatha. She radioed for assistance.

  “You are charging him with assault, aren’t you?” Betty said to Agatha.

  “Definitely.”

  The change in Mark was almost ludicrous. The fury had all gone out of him and he stood there with his head hanging.

  “Look, we can sort this out,” he pleaded. “It was all a mistake.”

  “I’ll just see if Joyce is all right.” Agatha walked into the house.

  Joyce was sitting on a sofa, rocking backwards and forwards, her face now twisted with pain.

  “I think he broke my ribs,” she whispered.

  Agatha left her and went out again. “Joyce Peterson needs an ambulance.”

  Betty spoke into her radio. “Is she bad?” she asked Agatha.

  “She thinks her ribs are broken.”

  “Keep her company until the ambulance arrives,” said Betty, “and I’ll watch this bastard here.”

  Agatha went back inside. “Would you like a cup of tea?” she asked.

  Joyce shook her head. “I’m charging him with assault, so you may as well do the same thing,” said Agatha.

  There came the sounds of a scuffle outside, then they heard Mark crying out in pain, and Betty’s voice calmly charging him with assaulting a police officer.

  “There you are,” said Agatha. “Two charges of assault. You’d better make it a third.”

  “Will he go to prison?”

  “Of course.”

  She gave a broken little sob. “Then I will charge him as well. May I have some brandy, please? There’s a bottle over there with the other drinks.”

  Agatha reflected that hot sweet tea would be a better idea, but decided that she could do with a brandy herself. She poured two stiff measures and carried them over.

  Joyce took a gulp and shuddered. “You never can tell with men,” she said. “I thought he was God’s gift to women when I met him. He was so charming, so attentive. It was just after he moved in with me that the beatings started. He always cried afterwards and begged my forgiveness, but he would always start again after a few days.”

  “What caused this latest assault?”

  “I said I wanted to go to Harrison’s funeral, that’s all it took.” “Were you fond of Harrison?”

  “For quite a time. Then he started travelling a lot and he was hardly ever home. When he was sent to prison, I was so angry with him that I wanted to get a divorce and make a clear break. Jason was devoted to his father. I don’t think he ever forgave me. When I was invited to the Laggat-Browns’ party, Mark wouldn’t let me go.”

  Sirens were sounding outside as both police and ambulance arrived. Joyce was examined and helped out to the ambulance. Agatha watched and was photographed for the local paper. The whole of Shipston-on-Stour seemed to be crowding into the street to watch.

  Mark Goddham was thrust into a police car. Agatha found herself facing Bill Wong.

  “You’d better follow me back to Mircester,” said Bill, “and give me a statement. Are you fit to drive?”

  Agatha felt the back of her head, which was sore and tender. “I feel a bit shaky. He really did bang my head against that wall. Oh, Lord!” She glanced at her watch. “I’m supposed to pick Roy up at Moreton.”

  “You’d better leave your car and come with me. We can swing round by the railway station and pick up Roy.”

  At Agatha’s insistence, Bill, who was driving a police car, turned on the siren and broke the speed limit along the Fosseway and into the station yard just as the passengers were alighting from the London train.

  Agatha called to Roy and he slid into the back of the police car, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “What’s going on?” he asked.

  “Agatha’s been assaulted,” said Bill. “We’re taking her into police headquarters to make a statement.”

  “Are you all right?” asked Roy. “Who assaulted you?”

  Agatha told him her story and then burst into tears. Bill handed her a box of tissues and said, “I’ll get a doctor to examine you, Agatha. I don’t think I’ve ever known you to cry before.”

  Emma had zigzagged down towards Warwickshire, taking country buses although she felt that no policeman would recognize her now with her new clothes, cropped hair and the extra weight she had put on.

  She had bought a hunting knife and put it in the bottom of her capacious handbag. The thought of that sharp steel nestling there warmed her heart. She left her last bus in Stratford-on-Avon and set out to walk the long miles to Barfleld House.

  Charles would have gone back to see Agatha because he never held on to resentments for very long. But he had fallen for a leggy brunette called Elaine Wisbich who worked for the Countryside Alliance and had come calling to ask for a contribution. He had taken her out for dinner on the previous day and was meeting her again for lunch in Stratford.

  She was already waiting in the restaurant when Charles arrived. Elaine had masses of thick brown curly hair. Her face was long and very white with a small mouth. Her eyes were disproportionately small. But she had a generous bust and those long, long legs.

  The meal went pleasantly, although Charles wished she wouldn’t laugh so much since she had a high, braying, ugly laugh. He lit a cigarette at the end of the meal and she playfully said, “Naughty, naughty,” and took it out of his mouth and ground it out in the ashtray.

  Charles sighed as love died. When he called for the bill, he found to his dismay that he really had left his wallet this time. Charles was mean and occasionally pretended to have forgotten his wallet, but this time he had meant to pay.

  “Em awfully sorry, Elaine,” he said. “Eve forgotten my wallet. If you pay, I’ll pay you back.”

  Elaine had a voice like one of Bertie Wooster’s aunts, which could be heard across a six-acre field, two spinneys and a paddock. That voice now sounded across the restaurant.

  “You’ve cost me more than this lunch,” said Elaine. “Alice Forbes bet me a tenner that you would try to get me to pay, but naive little me said, ’Oh, no, Charles is a gentleman.’“

  “I promise you, Elaine …”

  “Forget it.”

  Elaine paid in furious silence and they separated outside the restaurant.


  Charles drove to Barfield House, reflecting that he had the farm account books to wrestle with, so he might as well get on with it. Charles never used the front door, which had a massive Victorian key to unlock it, and was about to go round the back when he saw the door was standing open.

  I’ll have a word with Gustav about that, thought Charles. In this day of seriously militant ramblers and New Age travellers, it was as well to keep doors locked at all times.

  He paused for a moment in the hall and then went through to his study. He froze on the threshold, rigid with shock. His elderly aunt was bound to a chair and gagged.

  Turning to face him with a long hunting knife in her hand was a woman he did not at first recognize. She was tall and heavy-set with brown cropped hair. But it was when she smiled that he recognized those teeth.

  “Emma,” he said. “What have you done to my aunt?”

  “I’ve come to kill you.”

  “Why?” asked Charles, affecting a calmness he was far from feeling.

  “Because you betrayed me.”

  “How on earth did I do that?”

  “You told the police I was stalking you and yet it was you who led me on. Kneel before me and beg my forgiveness.” The knife waved in the air.

  She’s gone really bonkers now, thought Charles, but he said in his usual pleasant light voice, “Don’t be silly, Emma. Untie my aunt. You’ll give her a heart attack.”

  “Kneel!” howled Emma.

  Charles knelt down and shuffled forwards on his knees. “Don’t hurt me,” he begged.

  Emma smiled. “Now that’s better.”

  Charles lunged forward and grabbed her round the knees and sent her tumbling to the floor. The knife flew out of her grasp. She clawed and fought desperately.

  Gustav walked into the room and, leaning down, grabbed Emma by the back of her coat and dragged her upright. Then he gave her two powerful slaps across the face.

  Emma burst into tears. Gustav saw the bag she had brought with thin rope in it and took some rope out and tied her wrists and ankles.

  He made to pick up the hunting knife to free the aunt’s bonds, but Charles shouted, “Leave that, Gustav. We need the evidence.”

  Gustav nodded and went out and returned with a pair of kitchen scissors and proceeded to release the aunt, Mrs. Tassey. When she could speak, Mrs. Tassey said, “What a horrible woman. Gustav, call the police.”

  “Already being done,” said Gustav, nodding to where Charles was speaking urgently on the phone.

  Emma had slumped onto the floor and was curled up in the foetal position, rocking and crooning.

  Charles had a great feeling of relief when he heard the approaching police sirens. He felt more relief when Emma was cautioned and taken off. He could only marvel at the resilience of his elderly aunt, who was drinking a large gin and tonic and making her statement. Emma had called and brandished the knife in Mrs. Tassey’s face and had forced her to the study, where she had tied her up and gagged her.

  At last their statements were all taken. Mrs. Tassey said she would do some gardening because that always soothed her and Charles decided it was time he went through the accounts. The phone rang. Gustav answered it.

  “It’s a Miss Wisbich,” he said.

  “Ed better take it,” groaned Charles. “Hullo, Elaine. Terrible drama here.” He told her of the attack by Emma.

  “Gosh,” said Elaine. “I mean, jolly exciting stuff. Did you really forget your wallet?”

  “Really, honestly, definitely.”

  “You can make it up to me. There’s a new French restaurant in Broadway called Cordon Bleu. You can take me there for dinner tomorrow night. It’s very expensive.”

  “Oh, all right,” said Charles. “Eight o’clock fine?”

  “Great, see you there.”

  Agatha now had a policeman on guard outside her door. Bill Wong had tried to get her a police guard before, but Agatha’s exploits caused such resentment at Mircester Police Headquarters that they had refused before, no doubt hoping, Bill thought, that someone really would get rid of her. PC Betty Howse had been instructed to tail her, not for Agatha’s protection but to find out what she was up to.

  Agatha had a large lump on the back of her head, but the skin had not been broken.

  PC Darren Boyd, on guard outside her door, was a very good-looking young man. At first he had protested at the boring job, but now he was beginning to enjoy himself as the ladies of the village plied him with tea and cakes and hot sausage rolls. One even produced a garden chair for him to sit on, and another, a little table. Another brought him books and magazines. So he sat in the sun and passed a pleasant afternoon and was quite disappointed when his relief arrived.

  Agatha was glad of the police presence to keep the press at bay. At first she could not understand why so many press were besieging her over a simple assault. It was only when she turned on the evening news and heard of Emma’s attempt on Charles’s life that she understood the reason for the fuss. Her name had been linked with Charles’s on previous cases and Emma had tried to poison her.

  She phoned Charles, but Gustav hung up on her. “This is ridiculous,” fumed Agatha. “He should sack that man.”

  “Let’s go out there,” suggested Roy.

  “No good. Gustav will answer the door and then slam it in our faces. And the press will be all over the place.”

  Agatha’s mobile rang. “I’d better answer it. Maybe the press haven’t got this number.”

  “It’s on your business cards,” said Roy.

  Nonetheless, Agatha picked up her mobile phone. “Agatha,” said a warm deep voice. “It’s me, Jeremy. I’ve just heard on the news that that woman who used to work for you has been arrested.”

  “I just heard it on the news. It is a relief. How are you getting on?”

  “Oh, so-so. The commuting up and down to London’s getting a bit wearing. I’m thinking of getting a small flat there and only coming down at the weekends. Jason’s mourning his father, and life here is pretty dreary. Feel like having dinner with me tomorrow night?”

  “I’ve got a guest staying, Roy Silver, who used to work for me.” There was a silence and then he said, “Bring him along as well. Is he amusing?” “

  Yes, very.”

  “Just what I need. I’ll see you both at eight.”

  “He’s not interested in you romantically,” said Roy when Agatha told him, “or he would never have included me in the invitation. He wants to pump you for information.”

  “Nonsense. The police have checked on him thoroughly. He’s got a cast-iron alibi. And he tried to kiss me.”

  “We’ll see.”

  TEN

  AGATHA had forgotten that Roy Silver only dressed conventionally when he was working for some of his stuffier clients. So she was taken aback when he appeared in her living room, ready to go out, dressed in a black-and-white horizontally striped T-shirt and tight-fitting black trousers and with a red scarf knotted at his neck.

  “Are you going like that?” she asked.

  “What’s up with it? You said we were going to a French restaurant, so I’m looking French.”

  “It’s a comic-book idea of a Frenchman. What do you wear when you’re going to a Chinese restaurant? A lampshade hat and a pigtail? Oh, come on, then. We’re going to be late.”

  “What’s the food like at this place?” asked Roy as he slid into the passenger seat. He had added a long black cloak to hisensemble. How did he get all that into a travel bag? wondered Agatha.

  “Not very good,” she said, letting in the clutch. “Don’t order the duck. It’s like rubber. Arid forget ordering a salad. It’s mostly rocket.”

  “I like rocket.”

  “Then you’ll be all right. It comes with everything.”

  “You’re all glammed up,” said Roy. “If the neckline of that dress was any lower, the police would have you for indecent exposure.”

  “I am perfectly respectable,” protested Agatha, but before
they got out of the car, she gave her neckline a surreptitious hitch upwards.

  Jeremy was already there. An amused smile twitched his lips when he saw Roy. Agatha was just sitting down when she spotted Charles and a girl with a lot of brown curly hair sitting at a table at the other side of the restaurant.

  “Good heavens,” said Charles. “It’s Agatha.”

  “Agatha who?” asked Elaine. “You mean the old bird flashing her boobs?”

  “She’s not that much older than me,” said Charles defensively. “Let’s go over and say hullo.”

  “Must we?”

  “Only take a minute.”

  They walked over and Charles made the introductions. Agatha introduced Jeremy. “Where have you been, Charles?” asked Agatha in what Elaine thought was a proprietorial tone.

  Elaine put her arm through Charles’s. “I’ve been keeping him busy.” And she let out her great braying laugh while Charles flinched.

  “I’ll be over tomorrow,” said Charles. “We’ll catch up on things then. Will you be in the office?” “Yes, from nine o’clock on.”

  “See you then. Goodbye, Jeremy. Nice to meet you.” And then Charles said something in rapid French. Jeremy smiled and nodded. “What did he say?” asked Agatha.

  “Blessed if I know. His French is atrocious. Now, what would you like to eat?”

  Roy had no appreciation of good food and so he enjoyed the meal simply because the ambience pleased him: the candle-light, the attentive waiters, and the very high prices.

  Jeremy began to ask about how Agatha was proceeding with the case and had the police found out the identity of the dead man. Agatha lied and shook her head and lied again. But she did tell him about the arrest of Mark Goddham, knowing it would be in the papers in the morning. Then she added on impulse, “I can’t talk about the case, Jeremy, really. The police have asked me not to. But I can tell you, I think I’m near a solution.”

  Roy chattered about his work in London and told several amusing stories. Occasionally they could hear the bray of Elaine’s laughter sounding across the room. “Would you listen to her,” complained Roy. “What’s she eating? Oats?”